Realize

Well today I found out my girlfriend was hiding something from me that she heard. she heard that her ex said that I called her easy behind her back. Well as usual my pride got the best of me and I got upset. She made me promise I wouldn't hurt him and I wanted to so bad.... but when I looked into her eyes I just couldn't bring myself to do it. me and her talk over facebook and by the time we got done talking I realized something.... when I was with my ex deep down I always felt like there was someone better out there I was meant to give my heart too, Tonight I realized that my girlfriend was that person. Ever since I first saw her at school I felt like I had to know her. When me and her became friends, I realized that I was in love with her, now I realize that I cant live without her. Shes like my other half, she completes me

Divorce

Well recently I found out that my mom decided to get a divorce from my dad, nothing says marry christmas like divorce jk. Now my life is currently turned upside down, I cant even be in my own house tonight, because my dads coming home tomorrow and my mother does not want me and my lil sister to be there when they talk. I think they both are acting stupid and selfish neither of them care about what the other one wants nor what me and my sister want. I dont see why she couldnt at least wait till after the holidays instead of ruining it for everyone. So as you can probably tell things have been kind of rough for me lately, but even when things are crappy there are some things that brighten up your day. The thing thats kept me from totally losing it is my angel, the love of my life, the most amazing girl ever, Baby G. No one will ever know how much shes helped me with this when I found out about the divorce she was the only person I decided to tell. I wanted her to know about it because I knew if there was anyone I could talk to to help me through it, it was her. She was amazing, she didnt know what to say but thats ok just the fact that she was there for me and I could talk to her about it was good enough. I dont think I could have talked about it with anyone else the way I did with her. Today me and her went bowling with one of my friends, it was exactly what I needed. I dont think I would of been able to handle it without her. I dont think she will ever know how much she helped me, or how much it ment to me. Well thats about all I got to say right, I will post when I find out what exactly is going to happy with my family, but until then cherish your loved ones because you never know how long you have together. 

The future

The future is always here before we know it. Iam currently a Junior in highschool and in two years I will be out of highschool and on my way to college! I dont even know what I want to be yet. Ive got a few ideas, Im thinking about Police officer, Lawyer, Doctor, and Psychiatrist. But the main thing im worried about is my Baby G. she is currently a freshmen in highschool which means when I graduate she will only be a sophmore, what are we supposed to do when I go to college? will her parents even let us keep dateing,  or will they say we have to breakup? These are the things I worry about in the back of my mind. I have no idea what to do.....

it's weird

Its weird, I always have something I want to write about, or say to somebody but I never know exactly how to say it so I sit in my room thinking about it and think about it until soon it leads me to thinking about something else, and then that leads me to ...... idk what it leads me to. Im so lost with life, when will it get easier? I sit here everyday and.... idk I feel like im drowning sometimes and idk what to do. I dont even know why or how I feel like im drowning but I just do for some reason. Oh well I guess thats something normal that happens to people.... I hope =(

Thanksgiving

Well thanksgiving is here once again, and this year for once im actually thankful for things. I thankful for my friends, my family, my gingy hair =), but the thing im most thankful for is my Baby; baby G. she is the most amazing thing to happen to my life im so thankful that I met her and she became my best friend. Im also thankful that we have a wonderful relationship even though it seems like all our friend's relationships are crumbling before their eyes. I wish I would have gotten to see her today but she went out of town with her family. Im kind of sad I wont get to see her the remainder of the vacation, but im also kind of happy I dont. The time we spend apart is what makes the time we spend together so special.

My last two posts

The two posts before this one was stuff I wrote a long time ago when I was in a bad place. I was always depressed I felt all alone, and well I was all around bad. But now im in a much better place thanks to Mi Amur Baby G. and all my friends, if it wasnt for them I would still be in that bad place 

Insane

There once was a girl as pretty as could be
The prettiest girl you ever did see
But this girl had a terrible curse
That she could not throw away like some used purse
For this girl could not love just one man
This is why from relationships she ran
She was horribly obsessed with sex
Dont believe me? Just ask her ex
Soon she will be dead
Because she invited the wrong man into her bed

A dieing stranger

As she lays down in the flames of unholy turmoil. A young man reaches out to her, but she looks away. The young man tries to pull her from the flames but she will not come. The young man doesnt understand why she stays in the flames but he doesnt try to save her no more instead he sits and watches as the girl he loved was burned away to ash. When she took her last breath she asked the young man "do you still love me?" the young man looked into her eyes and cried " the girl I loved died a long time ago you are nothing but a dieing stranger". She died with a fadeing smile

death

While driving my sister to my grandmas house, I almost got in a car accident. We were driving down an empty road and stupid me was trying to change the CD, I guess I took my eyes off the road for to long and started going into the ditch. Well out of instinct I jerked the steering wheel to try and get back on the road. I ended up losing control of my Truck spun across the road, through the ditch on the other side, and nearly into the interstate. If there was any cars me and my sister would be seriously injured, or worse. after I got back on the road and started driving to my house. My mind started racing, what if I wasnt so lucky, what if me and my sister had died? But the one thing that kept going through my head more than anything, what if I never got to see the girl I love again? What if I never got the chance to tell her how much I loved her? What if..... she was with me when it happened? If she was there and something bad happened I wouldnt be able to live with myself .....

Baby G.... again

Well me and Baby G are fineally going out, I couldnt be more happy I love her like crazy,I have an amazing time with her, shes slowly became the only reason I get up in the mornings. I honestly dont know what I would do without her

Baby G.

There is this girl Im madly in love with. I met her this year at school shes a freshmen and im a junior in highschool. She loves me too (or at least I hope she does) but sadly we cant date due to her parents, Her mom doesnt want her dating upper class men for some odd reason. Her mom has already caught us kissing twice, the first time she just knew but the second time she actually walked in on us. This girl I like is the smartest, maturest, beautifulest, sexiest, funniest, most amazing girl I have ever met I just wish her mom would let us date I mean whats the worst that could happen?

School

School this year has been very different for me. Ive made new friends, new enemies, and Ive even found a new love. The classes are a lot harder this year, Im even in choir which is crazy for me since im usually the quiet type, right now school is kind of difficult, Im trying to stay on top of my work and honestly Im not doing to well